A Madness Most Discreet
by chalmskinn
Summary: Tony Stark is an Academy Award winning director with a dark past and a penchant for heroin. Loki Laufeyson is a Grammy Award nominee with two best selling records and self-destructive tendencies. Perhaps it was for the best that their paths collided.
1. I: A Merchant Of Death

**I: A Merchant of Death**

He was being held hostage. That was obvious – they'd had him in a cage on the river for 26 hours, standing next to a rotting corpse. He'd realised three hours into his initial capture that those who'd taken him had hidden the water based prisons well as none of the passing US patrol boats could hear his panicked screams for help. After pushing the corpse out of the cage and letting it follow the current, a small man hauled him onto the bamboo walkway and brought him up to the main hut. They then called up some American base camp with demands, threatened him and gave him an ultimatum.

"You make us weapons to take out Americans, yes?" The gold toothed man grinned at him and he found himself holding up his free middle finger and spitting in the direction of the faces of the frighteningly scarred and slightly deformed leaders of what must have been some branch of the Viet Cong. The one missing an eye planted a bullet in his left foot. "We understand your hesitation, **Merchant of Death**. You try to distance yourself from your _violent _past with your shiny, golden Oscar. But we see. We see behind that **shit**; you and your company are making weaponry that harm our women and our children."

He hissed his words out through the pain coursing through his leg, his eyes narrowed and jaw tight. "I haven't designed a weapon since 1963;**when I fucking found out America had involved themselves in something that wasn't their problem**."

"Weapons or you die, Mr Stark."

With that, they locked him in a damp room, with infected cuts and a shattered left foot. Another hostage (the only other one valuable enough to keep alive), Yinsen, treated his wounds before they went septic and helped him build his masterpiece.

For a month, he forgot about films, actors, actresses, producers, screenplays, cameras, awards, music, machinery, Pepper, Obadiah, Jarvis and his company and created the most advanced, brutal and frankly, horrific, weapon that he possibly could.

Something had to go wrong after a month of almost solitude. Right before the planned escape, Yinsen had been deemed no longer necessary as they had acquired a fitter, healthier doctor and was more useful to their captors as a partaker in a heated game of Russian roulette. He was gone seven minutes into the game and thrown into the river for the rats to feast on. He snatched the blood and brain matter soaked bandana from Yinsen's greying body and put it in his pocket.

Tony made haste and left the next day, wearing the khaki bandana around his forehead out of respect. He made sure that every one of his captors was dead or dying, that all other prisoners were as freed as he could get them and then he stole a boat, finding himself on American territory two long days later. He was flown back home immediately and heralded as a great American hero.

He certainly didn't feel like a hero.

And this was the start of his downfall. His documentary (which was the only reason he'd been captured in the first place) was only a hit because of his kidnapping; the military hassled him for his master weapon, despite Rhodey's insistence that his choice on the matter wouldn't budge; Obadiah had been selling his arms illegally (and met his demise during an unfortunate trip to the "massage parlour"; those hookers cannot be trusted around tasers and water); his feature film following the documentary was described as a "heroin fuelled mess" and then he was poisoned by ridiculously bad and extremely jealous rival director Justin Hammer (who'd actually managed to do something that had been viewed as worse than Tony's film).

The poison was weaker than the amount of heroin and scotch in his system. Still, Tony found himself waking up after three days in a horribly sterile environment, strapped to a board and sweating so profusely, it was as if his skin was melting.

Pepper came in an hour after he awoke, explained how he'd almost died, that his picture, starring Natalie Rushman and newcomer, British singer-songwriter, Lukas Odinson, had been put on hold and that he was going to be "just fine".

She then muttered something about "one of [his] actors" having a "problem" too, her eyes sparkling with a knowing glint and then simply saying to him, "I'm sure you'll be as thick as thieves by the time you leave."

Tony attempted to question her, but found his throat too dry and closed his eyes in defeat when she pressed a light kiss to his sticky cheek, leaving him in the clinical smelling room, turning the lights out on her way.

He whimpered and attempted to turn over. His bones protested and his skin suddenly felt like it was coming loose. Needless to say, he stayed in the same spot.


	2. II: A God Amongst Men

II: A God Amongst Men

He was an odd creature. He was one of those singers who would writhe around on stage in a pair of leather trousers; one of those singers whose lyrics would spark outrage; one of those singers whose lyrics could potentially start a revolution. An icon of an era. A lost hero.

His music would be played in the bedrooms of teenage girls; of teenage boys. It would be played at bars and clubs. It would be played at parties, on radios and in cars. It would be played in the heart of Saigon and all across the jungles of a country at war. His music represented a generation who had lost their faith in the peril of war and gained it again through song.

However, he told them not to hold onto their living heroes – those heroes weren't to be trusted as they died more frequently and broke promises that they may have made. Faith would fail and hope would be lost. He was honest and that was what made the public love him even more. Or hate him.

That was why in 1969, when Lukas Odinson disappeared, everyone assumed J. Edgar Hoover had had him assassinated.

In actuality, his wife, an ex member of Phil Spector produced girl group and general beauty queen, Sigyn, had found him washed up on a beach, with sea weed in his hair, scratches running the whole way down his back and muttering something about "wanting to be liberated like the fucking dolphins". She took him home, put him in charge of Váli and Narfi and went to the nearest hospital to seek advice for her husband's recklessness.

She returned an hour later to find him coked out of his mind, listening to the Doors at top volume and helping Narfi solve the farm themed jigsaw. She broke down in tears and curled around Váli's small body sleeping in their king sized bed, listening to Lukas talk animatedly to their 7 month old child about the works of F. Scott Fitzgerald. She put the children to bed half an hour after she stopped crying and sat her husband down, trying to make him see her outlook on his wild behaviour.

He was a very closed person and she knew that Lukas wasn't his real name, she knew that there had been a major issue with his family in England two months after the twins were born and she knew that he despised his brother, Thor; so when, five minutes into their conversation, he stood up and announced he was to call Thor, she knew that she had to follow the advice of the hospital and send him somewhere where all his outlets to his destructive habits could be cut off and his problems quelled.

Her decision was made firmer when she found his godlike body the next morning naked on the bathroom floor, gripping onto paper with lyrics on, with his nose pouring blood, his breath coming out shallowly and his convulsing body turning a blue colour. She found out a week later that he'd overdosed on heroin that he believed to be cocaine and luckily, she'd called 911 quick enough for him to survive.

But she or their sons wouldn't be allowed to see him for at least two months. Sigyn knew she had to be the supportive wife, but somehow, she knew that he wouldn't want that and she lived like she had before the overdose, leaving the twins with her parents and rubbing shoulders with people more important than her in the evenings, only now, pretending to grieve for her husband, who she didn't deny was dead.


	3. III: I Am But Mad, North-North-West

III: I Am But Mad, North-North-West

Sigyn was easily the most beautiful woman Loki had ever laid his eyes upon. Her strawberry blonde hair sat atop her head high, like a crown; her eyes glittered in the flashes of the cameras and her thick, gloss covered lips were parted enough to show her immaculate teeth and when she smiled, it was like the entire room lit up. It was the same when she sang. Although her lyrics weren't conventional and were remarkably dark for a girl who wore flower garlands in her hair, she still managed to capture the hearts of America and the heart of Loki.

They'd married two months after meeting and she made certain that from then on, she'd only sing the lyrics he wrote for her, even if they were vulgar and what would be deemed inappropriate for her younger listeners.

But he could recognise her honeyed tones and his depressing lyrics from anywhere. He knew it wasn't her singing those words as the voice was out of tune and far quieter than Sigyn's would be if it were her who was singing. He cracked open his eyes slightly and glanced around, noticing the record player in the corner next to a stack of records, a photograph of Váli and Narfi and an orchid. He stiffened when he noticed the girl washing his upper thigh with a white flannel and singing his wife's song in a voice he didn't want anywhere near his music. She peered up and smiled warmly at him, putting the flannel in the tepid water and placing her hands on his wrist.

"Hello mister. Don't mind me; I'm just doing what I've been doing for the past two weeks." Loki glanced down, concerned, "Yeah, I've seen it. So have the rest of the nurses. You should be happy to know that we're all majorly impressed." Loki blinked a few times in disbelief and gawped. "Didn't you want to be clean? We do this to all of the patients incapable of washing themselves. You were so out of it that the times you woke up were only minutes to vomit. I swear, they could have done anything to you and you probably wouldn't have even noticed." She laughed a bit and helped him sit up, "A brief warning, you're gonna feel depressed as shit for about a month. We've got another big name next door that has been puking out his soul for the last three days. I'm the one who has to convince him he's not dying, which is difficult when you want to tell them they are just for the reaction." She sighed and passed him a carton of orange juice and then went back to washing his leg.

He sucked the carton dry and frowned, "What's your name?"

"Oh! I'm Darcy Lewis; yours and three other people's nurse." She curtsied and held out the name tag on her right breast pocket. "I'm a big fan."

He grimaced, "Yes, please refrain from massacring my music around my unconscious body next time, please."

"Don't be such a sour puss." She rolled her eyes and poured some lavender body wash into her hand, "I hope you don't mind this smell – it's just, last week you smelt like vomit, so I washed you with coconut and now I'm bored of that, so I'm going all mom on you with a scent that just smells like classy elderly women."

"Can I not wash myself? Or is this part of your ridiculous contract?" He asked, reaching out for the flannel.

She wagged her finger, "Not until you are able to walk to the bathroom; which, considering you've been practically asleep for two weeks, is unlikely, considering it might take you an hour to wake your legs up properly."

He sighed and cocked his head, "And when can I see my children?"

"When you're less at risk of… I'm gonna put it bluntly, suicide. And of course relapse, but we search everybody who comes in to check if they're a risk to our patients' well-being. You'll have to ask Bruce more about that." Loki's eyebrow raised and she giggled, "He's the counsellor. Real nice guy, just don't make him angry, he's got a bit of a problem, with smashing things."

"I'm not going to kill myself; I have far too much to live for." He replied, "And how do you know this Bruce character smashes things when he's angry?"

"I'm an infuriating little bitch who didn't know when to stop." She said with a timid smile, "It's better if no one talked about it."

"No, what happened? If you're going to be the one to stop me from hanging myself, I think it'd be a good idea if we developed some kind of trust." He gave his most charming look in her direction and she shook her head, folding the flannel and standing up.

"I trust you, but I'm not going to divulge any information until you've met the guy. I don't want you to go in there all guns blazing because I might have told you something." She bent down and pressed her crimson coloured lips to his right cheekbone. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to guy and check if your future roommate has stopped vomiting. You're due to move in together in the next couple days; the sooner his health is looking up." Loki looked up from his lap to stare at her incredulously, "Your wife consented to this. It's part of the clinic's policies to rehabilitate patients together." He scoffed, "I'm sorry, it's only if you really dislike your roommate that we'll separate you. Plus, I'll be in here a lot more. I like you both, but he keeps staring at my chest and you've only taken one look."

He nodded, "So, I'm your plan to stay sane around this pervert."

"I wouldn't say pervert; more a playboy. I'd do him if that wasn't in breach of my work placement." She pursed her lips and opened her door, "I'm not going to say what I was thinking because it was a bit inappropriate and I think I've told you enough. But it's about your assets."

His nurse was beyond belief.

* * *

"So, how are you doing today, Mr Stark?" Tony looked up from his half eaten cup of lime jello to grin at Darcy, who sat down at the end of his bed with a clipboard.

"I'm fine and dandy now that you've arrived." He said, winking at her, "I see you're wearing my colour on your lips."

The girl rolled her eyes and wrote something down, "And I see you are no longer looking _or smelling _like you just threw up." He moved in the bed to see that she'd written 'is acting in a sleazy fashion'. "And these are my notes not yours, so I suggest moving before I whack you with my clipboard."

He huffed and slid himself back into his original position, frowning, "I haven't vomited today, I took a slash at uh, about ten-ish and have spent the rest of the day trying to swallow this shit you call 'dessert', work on a screenplay and design this suit that I'm not going to tell _you_ about." She pouted, "Maybe one day, if it ever comes to fruition, my darling Darcy."

Her pen stopped moving, "Any feelings of nausea, headaches; any hallucinations or feelings of isolation and depression?" He shrugged, "Just the usual for anyone going through this, I assure you. Any awkward bowel movements you failed to tell me about?" He opened his mouth to protest and she put her finger on his lips, "Just doing my job, Mr Stark. I don't particularly care, but this sheet needs this information." He shook his head and she smiled, "Fatigue and temperature?" He nodded, "Thank you for your cooperation, now, I know that you are fit to be moved into a room with another patient."

"WHAT? You failed to tell me about this before, Miss Lewis."

"Yes, I failed to tell the other guy as well. Look, it's not as if we're making you get married. It's just to help your rehabilitation. At least that's what Ja-Dr Foster told me. I can't vouch for her, but your roommate is quite a nice guy."

"Is it Lukas Odinson? Only I heard a couple of nurses discussing his dick outside my room yesterday morning." Darcy sighed and nodded, "Maybe he'll show me if I'm good enough."

"Stop it, you clairvoyant."

"You must mean deviant, I don't follow magic or ghosts."

"Yeah, now put these pants on and stand up." She held out a pair of grey pants that were slightly too long for him and covered her eyes when he went to stand up.

"I know you're gonna peep, Darce, you always do." He said, holding onto the rail next to the bed and pulling up the soft trousers through his slightly overwhelming feeling of dizziness.

"Shush, you." She said, balancing him with her arm around his waist. "You sure are muscular for a heroin addict."

He laughed, "I was active when I wasn't shooting up or doing blow."

"Are you okay to be standing up on your own?" He nodded and she let go, "Do you want socks?"

"No, my toes are toasty, thanks." He bent down to kiss her cheek and she pushed him away, chuckling as she opened the door, "What? I'm just trying to show a little appreciation towards you with a smooch, that's all, Darcy."

Other nurses around them looked him up and down, so he gave his camera worthy grin and made sure to let them see his muscular left arm. Darcy opened up another door, which led to a room bigger than his, with a pale, raven haired male curled on one of the two beds, his nose in a tatty copy of On the Road. He barely glanced up when they entered the room.

"So, Tony, this is your new room. And this is your roommate, Loki. I'll go get your things while you get acquainted." Darcy patted his upper arm and left him standing awkwardly by the door.

Tony coughed awkwardly, "It's nice to meet you. I believe we were to meet under different circumstances; when you had a different name… and straighter hair."

"Yes, I do believe that is true."

Loki continued to read without so much as looking up at Tony, who decided to sit on his bed and plump his pillows a little. "So, why are you here? I thought you were meant to be some kind of god…"

"I am but mad, north-north-west."

"Ah, Hitchcock."

"Shakespeare, actually."

"Of course; Hamlet." Tony sighed and let his head hang slightly, "I'm going to put this simply: are you going to be this difficult the whole time we're here together?"

"When I begin to find you less irritating, then perhaps we can discuss why we are here. Until then, I wish for your silence."

"Alrighty then," Tony scratched at the scabs on his arms, "If you get bored and want to play cards, just tell me. I'm open to a game of cards."


	4. IV: We Are Leaving, You Don't Need Us

IV: We Are Leaving, You Don't Need Us

_The door creaked open and from behind it came two sweaty, dirty and all around disgusting men holding guns in their left hands. They approached the workbench that Tony and Yinsen had set themselves up behind the past month and placed one of their guns down on the messy surface, the barrel pointing in the doctor's direction. The shorter one of the two, but marginally better looking, sneered and in a strongly accented, but generally quite quiet and disconcerting in the manner he spoke, said, "You have been requested, my good doctor. I suggest you leave your things here and follow us." The burlier man laughed heartily and picked up his gun, standing behind Yinsen and whacking him on the side of the head with the weapon. "You stay here, Stark. When we have need of you, we shall get you."_

_Tony's eyes had widened, the larger man was dragging out Yinsen's near unconscious body and then he was locked back in the room, on his own. He dropped the screwdriver he'd been holding and followed the deep rumble of the men's voices around the large room, peering through the gaps in the rotting wood that walled the camp. He slid down to his knees and cupped his hands around his right eye and closing his left, focussing in on where they'd taken his friend._

_A corpse was being thrown out of a square gap in the wood and into the river below and substituting him in his bloody chair was Yinsen, who, although drowsy, looked aware and frightened of what lay before him. Grubby hands tied a murky greenish piece of rough fabric around his head and his eyes tightened, mouth moving quickly to the words of a prayer that Tony couldn't make out. "Why the fuck is he wearing a fucking bandana? What's going on?" Tony murmured to himself, not noticing the door open again and the supposed leader of this organisation walked in with a limp and a cigar in his mouth._

_He crouched down behind Tony and blew out a lungful of smoke, causing Tony to cough and turn around. He gasped and started to cough uncontrollably, "The bandana is to keep the head together if a bullet goes through," Tony made a strangled noise and was hoisted up by the shoulder of his once-white and now a sweat soaked, greyish button-up shirt. "You should come and watch; it's very fun." Tony struggled, attempting to rid himself of the man's tight grip, only finding himself only to be kicked in the Achilles tendon. "Get__** up**__. I do not want to miss anything."_

_Groaning, he picked himself back up and was pushed into the room he'd previously been looking into – coming face to face with the man he'd been sharing his living quarters with for the past month. Yinsen's mouth was a tight white line, his teeth surely breaking into the skin and his eyes were looking up to the ceiling, tears coming slowly out of the corners, but dripping down his damp face. The man set Tony on his knees, among a group of men speaking in a language he wasn't familiar with, shuffling around money and other valuable items. The man then walked to the square table between Yinsen and a terrified, teenage looking boy of Asian decent, picking up the revolver, putting a bullet in one of the chambers and spinning. He then put the gun back on the table, thrust it in a right direction and watched it land on the younger man, who after much prompting, picked it up with shaking hands._

_Some man started to throw small pebbles at him as the room grew unnervingly impatient and the demands for him to pull the trigger started. The boy whimpered and held the gun up to his right temple, grimacing for a few seconds before pulling the trigger; the bullet making its way through his skull, hitting the floor with a bloody 'clink'. Simultaneous cheers and groans sounded as the body fell to the wooden floor, bandana coming loose and the deep burgundy blood creating a pool around his head. Tony was sure it was dripping down onto the heads of prisoners kept in the underwater cages._

_Yinsen was hyperventilating._

_Another captive was chosen to play and put in the chair, another bullet was put in the 6 chambers and the cylinder was spun again. It was spun four more times before the American soldier killed himself. Yinsen was smiling, but still breathing quickly and shallowly and when the gun pointed in his direction, he picked it up with little hesitation. Tony gritted his teeth and when Yinsen's eyes clenched shut, his fingers pressed down on the trigger and then there was a bang._

_Tony cried out, his upper body collapsing to the floor as he beat the floor, catching Yinsen's emotionless glare from where his corpse lay. Tony didn't have far to reach out to touch the top of Yinsen's head; he just let his hand linger there until one of the guards started to drag him away. He yanked the bandana off his friend's head and then watched the blood leave a trail._

He awoke suddenly. There was a hand on his face and the faint blue light coming from the small window leading to the corridor told him it was Loki who woke him up. "…What?" Tony blinked a few times and cleared his throat, looking up at the man perching on his bed. He wasn't wearing a shirt and Tony took the time to notice how defined his arms were, leading up to a swanlike neck and a beautifully structured face. He had a sad smile on his face; his usually straight hair was a curly mess and his guitar worn fingers felt callused on Tony's face.

"I know nightmares." His hand lingered for a few more seconds and then he pulled away, standing up and holding his head high, "You stopped breathing and I saved you."

"I guess I'm forever in your debt then, Lokester." He searched Loki's face for a trace of amusement and just found irritation. "Why do you even fucking care? You made it abundantly clear that you were going to pretend I don't exist – not playing cards with me and not speaking to me for an entire evening _surely_ illustrates that."

Loki scoffed and sat back down on Tony's bed. "You exaggerate far too much, Stark." Tony rolled his eyes, "Anyway, I care because as I said previously, I know nightmares."

"Am I going to get anything else out of you other than that phrase?" The taller man pursed his lips and smirked, "And I worked out what you said earlier, you know – the Hamlet; you're not pretending to be mad, nobody _pretends _because everybody _is_ mad."

"Hush. Do you want to know?" Tony crossed his arms and placed his index finger on his lips. Loki's smirk grew and he moved to sit on the bed properly, his back leaning against the metal railings. "I've done some… terrible things."

"We all have, now get to it."

"Those terrible things, I don't… I can't… they're the reason I left England." He took a deep breath and continued, "I killed my biological father." Tony's eyebrow quirked, "I'd made this plan with him after I initially found out he was my father; he didn't know at the time, just thought I was this kid who wanted to get mixed up in the crime underworld and I wanted revenge. I wanted to show Odin that he shouldn't have kept me in the dark my whole life and lead me to believe that yes, me and Thor _were _equals in his eyes when in fact, we never were. I was just his one up on the mob, adopting a child from a crime addled family of gangsters would _obviously_ get him higher in the world of politics.

"It only made him more of a target. Laufey wanted something my father had, I wasn't sure what it was, but I knew he had it in his possession – so I said, 'if you want I can let you into the house and you can take whatever it is you need.' Little did I know he would attempt to murder Odin and I could not bare putting Frigga through that guilt, so when he went shoot Odin in his sleep, I put a French knife through his and two other men's spines. That feeling, of cutting through bone, is the most disgusting, horrific feeling that any man could put himself through." Loki laughed a little and then sighed, "Thor had somehow found out about my original plans from Fandral or somebody and he told Odin as soon as they found my bleeding father and his goons on their bedroom floor. "

Tony frowned and leant forward, "Then Thor pushed me out onto the balcony, I was screaming at him to fight me, so he did. And with his brute strength, pushed me through the balcony railings, so that I was gripping onto the ledge and he was trying to hoist me up, but he couldn't – I wouldn't let him. And then I fell. Into the lake. I woke up two months later, recalling barely anything as I hit my head; and then I was sent to the US three days after I awoke until Odin deemed me worthy to come back."

"That's harsh, man." Tony bit his lip and shuffled forward, "But I don't understand why, out of all people, you told me."

Loki looked down at his hands and felt his eyes well up, "I don't know either. I haven't even told my wife why I left England! And here I am, telling some ridiculously famous film director my deepest secret… I trust you and I can't even comprehend why I do so." Tears trickled down his angular cheeks and he sniffled, "Who is Yinsen?"

The older man laughed and wiped a tear from Loki's face, "He was a friend; a friend who I watched kill himself." Tony found himself repeating what had happened in his dream and by the end of his tale, he was in tears too, "I guess he never thought that he'd leave that godforsaken place and that was why he seemed to be relieved when he was pulling the trigger."

They both looked at each other, smiled sympathetically and then Loki slid up the bed to rest his head on Tony's shoulder. Tony opened his mouth to speak but Loki let his hand move to Tony's chin and he lightly pressed a kiss to his lips. "I don't know why and it's so wrong, but so right and I just- I can't help myself around you and it's driving me insane."

Tony chuckled lowly and simply said in reply, "Just let it happen."


	5. V: American Dreams Came True Somehow

V: American Dreams Came True Somehow

It was Sunday, the 30th of November, 1969 when Sigyn walked into the clinic, sunglasses covering her bloodshot eyes and pulling her two stubborn, angry children on mint green reins. She pushed her dark, cat eye sunglasses further up her nose and pulled open the heavy glass door, scowling at Váli when he toppled over, his brow furrowing and then sitting himself down, with his arms crossed. In her sweetest voice, she said, "If you don't get up now, Váli, I will fucking lock you in a room and deprive you of light." The small boy whimpered and crawled in after his twin brother. Sigyn dropped the reins, leaving her children attached to each other and sitting on the parquet flooring, looking perplexed. She walked up to the counter, placed her white leather bag down and pushed a shorter, strawberry blonde haired woman to the side. Folding her sunglasses, she put her hands on her hips, "I demand to see my husband!"

The woman beside her turned and laughed, "Rudeness won't get you anywhere; I was here first."

Sigyn pouted and tapped her foot, "I wasn't being rude, I was being assertive, certifying that they know my rights as an American and making sure people know their places – like you, which is after me."

"Oh, don't act so high and mighty, you slut; you demand to see your husband, yet I see you acting trashy in the newspapers with anyone who'll get you work, now that nobody is writing you songs."

"Some of us have a reputation to uphold, honey; because some of us thrive on success and praise."

"What is your reputation? Trying to get the public to feel sorry for you because you're a dirty liar? Yeah, no one feels sorry for you, Mrs Odinson because everybody knows you'll screw anyone who can help you climb the career ladder."

"At least I'm on the career ladder; I have everything I've ever wanted and more! What and who are you, just some paper pusher with an expensive briefcase? Yeah, what a life to live."

"I'm the future CEO of Stark Industries. I'll see to it that you're dropped off your record label." Sigyn narrowed her eyes and her arm darted out, only to be held back by a man with fluffy hair, a purple shirt and a green bow tie.

He smiled comfortingly at them both and placed his hands on the women's shoulders. "I'm so sorry to keep you ladies waiting; Miss Potts, I've sent Nurse Lewis to find Mr Stark – I do believe he's with Dr Foster currently. Mrs Odinson," he took a deep breath, "I think your husband is with her too, so if you just wait and talk to Betty here, I'm sure she can sort you out."

He bent down, kissed the receptionist's cheek, who smiled up at him and he ran off. Sigyn rolled her eyes and then turned around to face her children, who were both laughing at something, "Fucking shut up! Shush, for mommy, please!" Narfi looked down at the floor between his legs and his bottom lip wobbled, a quiet sob following.

Pepper's mouth opened slightly in disbelief and when she looked at Sigyn, she was fishing about in her bag for a pill bottle. She placed her briefcase down and walked over to the crying child, unhooking him from Váli, smiling warmly at them both and picking up Narfi, who snuggled into her shoulder, drying his face on her silk blouse. "Do you always talk to your children like that?"

Sigyn looked murderous. She threw back three pills dry and dusted off her houndstooth cigarette pants, "Only when they're being insufferable." Pepper frowned and stroked the child's jet black hair. Sigyn turned around to face the pretty receptionist, "Yeah, can you get me Lukas Odinson, please? I really need to see him, matter of life or death kind of thing."

"Can you tell me why you must see him?" Sigyn shook her head firmly and Betty smiled pleasantly and span around on her office chair, opening up a drawer and flicking through what must have been folders, "There's no Lukas – there's a Loki?"

"Yes."

"Right, give me a moment, please." She dialled a number into an off white phone and wound her right index finger in the cord, "Hey, is Darcy around?" She bit her lip and sighed, "Oh, if you see her, can you tell her to grab Loki Odinson as well? His wife's here and she appears to be in quite a state."

Sigyn huffed and picked up her bag, walking over to where Pepper was talking to her children, "I'd appreciate it if you'd stop talking to him like you know him. Come on Váli, come on Narfi – we have to go and wait for daddy."

Pepper put the young boy down next to his brother and looked Sigyn in the eye, "Are you okay? You really don't seem too…"

"I'm as okay as a girl can be when she's constantly being hounded by people who need to know when to butt out. Don't talk to me again, Miss Potts, or I will claw your eyes out."

* * *

"Hey, Snow White, your wife's on the front of the newspaper; apparently her pappy's kicked the bucket." Darcy strolled into the room and threw the paper at his bleary head. Loki groaned and rolled over, chucking the newspaper anywhere that wasn't his bed.

"Fuck off, Darcy." He grumbled, pulling the thin white sheet over the top of his head. Darcy rolled her eyes and placed two pills on his bedside, with a carton of apple juice and three crackers. Tony rubbed his eyes and sat up as she opened the curtains, letting in the blindingly bright sunshine. He picked up the paper that had landed on his bed and unfolded it, getting some sleepy dust out of the corner of his eye.

He snatched the orange juice carton from the young nurse and threw the empty carton back in her direction within less than twenty seconds. "So, not only has father died, but she's seeking solace in… huh… any British rock musician." Loki peeked out from under the cover and raised an eyebrow, "She was seen crying on Keith Richards last week; because you've died, my good sir."

"You're shitting me – no!" Darcy laughed and slid over to the bed; her nurse shoes squeaking against the overly polished floor.

Loki threw his legs over the side of the bed and snatched the newspaper away, scrutinising every word. "She wants my music. She wants my lyrics. She wants sympathy. She can't have that without money, which she isn't getting because she's not releasing music. She will want to see me soon. She will remove me from this institution. She won't take no for an answer."

"You're fucked. Is your wife a vampire?" Tony placed his hand comfortingly on Loki's wrist, who coiled away with a disapproving glare. "What?"

"I can't be doing with your sympathy. It makes me feel positively sick." Loki said, "You know, I'm going to the recreation room – hopefully it's vaguely quiet in there." He snatched the newspaper away, picked up his apple juice and pills and stormed off. Darcy and Tony looked at each other.

"Oh, okay. Take your pills!" She called after his figure and sat down on Tony's bed. "We'll give him fifteen minutes, I think he's forgotten you guys have got group therapy with Jane this morning."

He scratched his face, "No, he hasn't forgotten. He just fucking hates it."

"Why haven't I heard about this? What? Doesn't he like me or something? Now I'm just offended."

"Eh, he doesn't hate you – he actually kinda likes you, but he despises some of the people in our group. And you haven't heard about it because he's said it when you're not around. Or he's hinted at it, never said explicitly 'oh, this group therapy is absolutely _ghastly_'."

Darcy shrugged and stood up, sighing, she then turned around, sniffed and in an over exaggerated sad voice said, "I guess I don't know you two as well as I thought." She turned back, laughed and pulled back Tony's bed sheet, covering her eyes, "Holy shit, dude, I wasn't expecting attack of the wang."

"You came in early – I didn't have time to jerk off."

Darcy shook her head, eyes squinted shut, "You do that with Loki in the room? Don't you have like, any barriers?"

"Usually he helps."

"For fuck's sake, Tony; that's hot, but don't mess with my ovaries like that." She went to walk out of the door, "I'll be back in five minutes. Put some goddamn pants on!"


	6. VI: Freedom Is

**VI: Freedom Is Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose**

Jane Foster grinned at her ten, wealthy, bored and generally quite sad looking patients and picked up her clipboard. "Okay, that's all you'll be hearing from me today, you'll be glad to know." Four out of ten breathed a sigh of relief, the other six just smiled, "Before you leave, I just need for you to indicate to me what you're going to be doing for the next few hours, whether that be entertaining yourself in the rec room, doing yoga with Doctor Banner or any other activity that will help to get you back into the world."

She crossed her legs, span on her office chair and slid open a window; smiling widely at the man, who was apparently Nancy Sinatra's ex boyfriend who had turned to heroin when her daddy "got the mob on him" and broke his kneecaps, (it had later been revealed that he was a rich, delusional college boy who had done far too much LSD in his two months studying law.) handing him the clipboard and giving him an approving nod when he wrote down 'studying'.

She didn't seem too impressed when Loki filled in both his and Tony's boxes with 'Banner'. She gave them a suspicious look and shrugged, Loki guiding himself and the elder man down a corridor Tony had never been down before, striking up conversation. "That was extraordinarily dull."

"Tell me about it. I want to snort blow off a hooker's fishnet clad thighs."

"I want to snort blow off _your_ fishnet clad thighs."

"Whoa, I didn't know you were into that kinda thing." Tony found himself backed against an apple green wall, "Hello there."

Loki smirked, loosening up his hands bunched in Tony's grey t-shirt. "Well, hello."

"Are you threatening me?" Tony looked up through his eyelashes, noticing Loki's enlarged pupils. He grinned and shook his head, looking down both ends of the empty corridor, and then tightening the space between them, running his tongue along the shell of Tony's right ear. "Right then."

"We're going to go into the cupboard and nobody will notice that we're missing; Doctor Foster believes we are currently with Doctor Banner and Doctor Banner believes we are with Doctor Foster or something." He whispered, letting his left hand drop to the handle and opening up the door to the dark room.

"You've been planning this."

"For weeks now." Loki grasped his hands and dragged him into the darkness, feeling around for a light switch. "This is the only place I could find where I could grope you without Darcy watching."

"You've been looking then," Tony kicked the door shut and manoeuvred his hands out of Loki's firm hold, sliding them under the taller man's baggy black vest, "so that's why you haven't been listening to me recently on our ways to and from the room."

"I never listen to you on our ways to and from the room." He replied, shrugging off his woollen cardigan, "it's always filming techniques, technology or mindless gossip circulating around the Hollywood aristocracy. The latter is the only thing I've ever tuned into." Tony frowned, but Loki placed his hands under his jaw, leaning down and pressing his lips onto the corner of his mouth.

"I don't know if I should be flattered that you actually know what I'm usually talking about…" Tony let out with a shallow breath. Loki's left hand moved down to the belt loops of Tony's trousers and lingered, his right thumb tracing circles around Tony's cheekbone. His jaw went slack as through the denim of his trousers, Loki's palm lightly pressed against his growing erection. "Fucking whoa." Tony let out while Loki moved his right hand down to undo the shorter man's jeans.

His smirk turned fluidly into a Cheshire Cat grin and he looked up through his dark lashes to Tony's almost entirely black irises, unzipping slowly and laughing when Tony stepped out of his jeans and with a sharp kick, made them fly onto a metal trolley behind them. "You're a tad eager."

Tony nodded, ignoring the slight amused tone in Loki's voice. The musician sighed and slid his fingers underneath the waistband of Tony's boxer briefs, sliding them down his thighs and letting them sit on the tops of his kneecaps, which didn't appear to bother the elder man too much. Loki licked his lips before running his index finger down Tony's length and retracing that line upwards with the tip of his tongue, pressing a kiss to the base. Tony groaned loudly, eyes rolling back and lids closing, covering his mouth with his arm when Loki's mouth enveloped the head, tongue swirling delicately around the leaking slit. Tony let out a breathy moan and opened his eyes as Loki's head began to bob slightly, taking more of him in every movement upwards.

"I'm not going to last long in the slightest if you keep," his eyes rolled backwards again and he blinked to regain some composure, "keep up like this." The corners of Loki's mouth curled and he continued to please the brown eyed man, taking as much of Tony's arousal into his mouth as he possibly could, causing him to gag a few times, but persisting nonetheless.

True to his word, Tony didn't last particularly long, however he did not feel embarrassed by that, blaming his supposed 'abstinence' for the previous two months. Loki felt rather proud after he'd swallowed down Tony's load, congratulating himself on the valiant attempt he'd given as a first timer; Tony wouldn't have to know, unless he already did know. Which he did, petting Loki's hair as he slid down the wall, lazily tugging his pants back up. "Was it okay?" Loki asked, eyebrow raised and wiping his mouth on his bare arm.

The other man nodded enthusiastically, "Of course it fucking was. You can do that any time you want, my good friend." Loki smiled and straightened out his vest, putting his cardigan back on whilst Tony pulled up his pants. "I don't think my legs are gonna work, man."

"Get up, Anthony. We've been gone too long." Loki replied with a smirk, heaving him up and letting him lean on him as his legs started to regain feeling. "Are you ready now? Do you think you can face the scrutiny of the general public?"

"I am indeed, my beautiful princess. Let's go and see our adoring fans." Loki scowled and turned the door handle, slowing cracking open the door and letting in the bright, too white light. "Holy fuck, that is blinding." They both shielded their eyes and exited the closet quietly, walking down the corridor towards their room content.

Tony felt happier than he had done in months. Almost as if he was walking on sunshine, which prompted him to begin skipping ahead of Loki and taking the wrong turn. "Are you kidding me, Anthony? Skipping? What have you been reduced to?" Tony cackled and ran back, planting a sloppy kiss on Loki's left cheek. "Good god; if you're what's regarded as a genius with such talent, I'd hate to see future people given such praise."

They both slowed down when they entered their ward, dragging their feet to their room where Darcy was watering their flowers. She pushed up her glasses, squinted at them and then grinned, having her gesture replied to with two wide smiles. She put the green watering can down and opened up the heavy door, "I'm here to take you both down to reception."

"Will you reveal anymore than that, my darling Nurse Lewis?" Loki asked, entwining his arms with the red lipped woman. She shook her head and grabbed Tony's hand. "You are a spy of the best kind, dear."

She laughed and pressed her lips to his right cheek, "You sweet talker, you. I'm still not telling you anything." Tony pushed the down button on the staff elevator and the three of them waited, listening to the tinny sounds of the radio coming from the nurses' station. "Will you do anymore music, Loki?" She asked, cocking her head in his direction.

He shrugged and pressed his lips together. "I might get a band together. I want to do a bit of acting, however, considering that was my first love; before Thor and Fandral coaxed me into fronting their shitty band due to my wonderful hair."

"You had two hit singles, you weren't that shitty." Tony pointed out, "I remember that Pepper loved them; even though I can't remember the name of them. It was generic pop, wasn't it?"

They stepped into the elevator and waited for the door to close, "Yes, we were trying to follow in the steps of the Beatles, clearly. We did okay; I'm a singer-songwriter in a rehabilitation clinic with two people that I love more than my own family, Thor's a professional rugby player, Volstagg became a food critic with a drink problem and I think Fandral has herpes."

Darcy and Tony's eyes widened and they both doubled over, laughter clouding their vision and causing them to grip onto the wall and/or Loki. "That's his career choice?" Darcy asked, falling into Tony and cracking up again. "Loki, I love you so much, dude. You make me die laughing."

"I didn't intend for that to be quite so humorous." He stated, face blank and vaguely confused. The lift stopped and taking a deep breath, Tony stepped out, looking around to the desk and noticing Pepper perching on the edge, chatting away happily to the receptionist.

He brushed his fingers across Loki's wrist and ran over to Pepper, wrapping his arms around her narrow torso and breathing in her sweet, floral scent. She rolled her eyes, laughed and turned around to face him, placing her index finger underneath his bearded chin and very lightly guiding his head upward. "God, I've missed you, Stark." She said, face stuck in a smile so wide it hurt and hugging him closer and tighter. "You look so good! And healthy! And your hair! It's…"

"Long? I know, I'm going for that kind of 'pimp' look." He replied, smirking. "I've missed you too, Pep. Why are you here, anyhow? Not that I don't love it when you come to visit me." He looked around the greyish blue room and noticed Loki and Darcy walking towards them. "Oh and Pepper, meet Darcy, she's my you when you're not here." They shook hands and smiled politely at each other, "and this is my brother-in-arms, Loki… _Laufey_son?"

Loki nodded and bent down to kiss both of Pepper's cheeks, her face going a bit rosy. "It's really nice to meet you finally, sir. I've had the pleasure of meeting your wife; you seem far lovelier." She said, a slight bitterness in her voice. "I do believe she's around here somewhere – looking for you."

"I'll be sure to look out for her." He said, reaching out to pick fluff from Tony's t-shirt.

Pepper giggled slightly at the two of them, Tony slapping Loki's hands away from his chest with a chuckle, "Okay, so I've got some things for you to sign, Tony and then you shall barely have to worry about Stark Industries altogether." He squeezed Loki's upper arm, picked up Pepper's briefcase and led them over to a far corner where Pepper placed a stack of paper and a fountain pen on a table, leading Tony to sigh deeply.

Turning on his heel, Loki looked to the other side of the room, observing two very small children attempting to play what looked like a game of leap frog. His breath hitched and he walked with pace towards them, the darkest haired one standing up, wobbling slightly and on unsteady feet, running towards Loki. They met somewhere in the sort of middle and Loki lifted the child, spinning him around and pressing his nose and mouth against the child's jet black hair. "Narfi! My, how you have grown!" The other boy tottered over, thumb in his mouth, "And Váli! What have I done to deserve this? You two are better than three Christmases rolled into one." Loki bent down and picked up the fairer haired boy, one twin on either side of him. Váli's hands held tightly onto Loki's cardigan and Narfi's head lay in the crook of Loki's neck, he pressed light kisses onto both of their heads and felt his eyes well up slightly.

"I'm sorry to ruin the moment, boys – but I must talk with you, Lukas." From around the corner, Sigyn's voice came. Loki placed his children down and followed his wife's tones, finding her sitting at a window, legs crossed, cigarette burning in between her index and middle fingers, smoke billowing up above her. He sat himself down next to her and looked at her face, noticing that her usually perfect makeup was somewhat lacking and her thick black cats eye liner looked smudged and quickly (messily) applied. "You're coming home."

"What? When?" Loki's brow furrowed, he looked down at his hands. "But I feel like I am finally getting better; and dealing with my issues."

Sigyn frowned and flicked some ash out of the window, "Immediately. I've already got that Doctor Banner getting somebody to get your things. And I can help you deal with your issues; I'll make sure that you never go near heroin again."

"I never did heroin in the first place, it was a mistake."

"Same difference; I'll get you to that freedom you always wanted. Don't you feel restricted here? Like a prisoner?"

"Boundaries keep me safe. Around you there aren't any. I have things to lose; for example, those two little boys over there and it doesn't occur to me that you feel they keep you grounded."

"What do you mean, Luke? I'm grounded - of course they keep me grounded; I'm their mother, for god's sake!" She laughed in outrage and folded her arms. "And don't make me out to be the villain here! My father just died and I am going through a very emotional period right now."

Loki scowled, "But you are, don't you see. I've seen your escapades in the newspapers and yes, I've probably done worse – but I have never claimed you were dead and buried, then only to grieve in the arms of oh, let's say, Mick Taylor, a man who probably doesn't know any better." He chuckled darkly, "I've heard of your infidelity and lies, Sigyn, and let me just say, it doesn't please me in the slightest."

She narrowed her eyes and leaned in close to him, "Like I'm intimidated by _you_ - you've gone soft, Odinson. You're not dangerous anymore; you lost all that appeal when you took a glance at those two brats over there." He breathed in through his nostrils, "I wouldn't be surprised if this place had turned you queer. It never did look like it would take much, just for a handsome man to bend over and then, bam; I'd no longer be the apple of your eye." His knee and eye twitched simultaneously, hand rising quickly in the direction of her face. She laughed, shook her head and grabbed his hand, placing it on her face so it looked as if he was caressing her. "You're coming home. You'll accompany me to the funeral and sleep in the same bed as me like a good husband; you'll write me music like a good songwriter and you'll be happy about it. Or at least you'll pretend to be happy about it. Now, my darling husband; say your goodbyes, take the children and get in the fucking car. I'll collect your things."

Loki swallowed his anger, and his pride, and stood up after Sigyn had marched over to the reception counter, looking down and feeling vaguely sick.


	7. VII: You've Got Blue Blood On Your Hands

**VII: You've Got Blue Blood On Your Hands, I Know It's My Own**

Becoming Tony Stark's personal assistant was the best decision that Darcy Lewis had made in her entire life. Despite the 24/7 hours and the incessant hassle from the paparazzi, it was worth it because no longer was she mopping up sick from the floors and the faces of wealthy drug addicts, but meeting all her favourite celebrities, travelling the globe and all whilst getting paid a tidy sum.

She got Thursday mornings off. That was when Tony had meetings with Pepper and the share holders – just to check if Stark Industries was still being ran the way he'd always intended it too. That particular Thursday morning in the spring of 1970, Darcy found herself eating grapes, reading a dark mystery novel, with her feet on Tony's coffee table, heels resting somewhere nearby. Jarvis had told her to keep her feet off the furniture, but as soon as he finished polishing the already sparkling piano and went off to water and deal with plants on the balcony, she returned to what she was previously doing; only this time keeping her eye out for the butler's return and the scolding she would receive if he saw.

It took her greatly by surprise when the phone rang, causing a grape to fall out of her mouth and her to drop the book. She glanced out of the window and saw Jarvis deep in concentration as he pruned a shrub; sighing and hesitant, she picked up the red phone, listening to the shallow breathing coming from the other side. She took a deep breath and spoke, "Hello, this is the Stark residence, Darcy Lewis speaking."

A breathy laugh came from the other side, "Darcy, there isn't a chance that Anthony's home, is there?"

"No, I'm sorry. Is this Loki?" A noise of affirmation came from him, "What can I do for you?"

"Could you perhaps take a message and make certain that it gets to Anthony?"

"Of course, dude."

He laughed in an almost hysterical fashion, "Okay. Uh, can you tell him that she found out; that she's um, taken my children and fucked off to England with um, bloody fucking Thanos." Another nervous laugh came from him, "She's threatening to reveal to the press if I don't give her full custody in the divorce, along with rights to all the songs I've written her and a whole load of other things and… uh, that's it."

Darcy frowned, "That's not it. I know you, Laufeyson. What have you done?"

"I dropped some bad acid."

"And?"

"Oh, well, that would be telling." He cackled and then came a clang of metal.

"What was that, Loki?" She pressed her bright pink lips together and grimaced.

"I do what I want!" He screamed and hung up the phone. Darcy swore and began to pace, pinching the bridge of her nose and thinking. She clapped her hands together and ran over to the leather bound phone book, searching under the letter 'P'.

She dialled quickly, tapping her nails against the wall impatiently as she waited, "Is this Miss Potts' office? It's Darcy Lewis, Tony's PA. Can you tell him it's an emergency and that I need to speak with him now?" The woman on the other end tried to protest, but before she got a word out, Darcy cut her off with, "This is someone's life. I need Tony Stark now before this all goes wrong."

Tony had been told by a rather panicked, stressed and all around shouty Darcy to "get his ass to Loki's house" to check if he was okay. He'd sent Happy to go and pick her up from his house and after excusing himself from the meeting, he ran down fourteen flights of stairs, bumped into multiple business men in the busy doorway and threw himself into his car, pressing play on his tape player and letting the sounds of Santana flow around him as he broke all speed limits.

Loki's house was quite modest, despite overlooking a beach. It was a mint green, with a front porch, a nicely kept lawn and a flower bed. Tony parked his car in front of the closed garage, running up the wooden steps and pounding on the white panelled door. After waiting around twenty seconds, he swung open a white shutter and peeped in through the window, noticing a single leg through an archway within the house. Tony swore under his breath and twisted the door handle, only for it not to budge.

He wiggled the fingers on his right hand and through the mail slot, he carefully slid his hand through, biting his lip as the pressure on his wrist started to cut off circulation. He took a deep breath and cocked his hand inwards, feeling around for a doorknob and laughing when he found one. With his left hand, he ran his fingers through his thick, chin length hair and pushed up his aviator sunglasses.

An elderly woman passed him when on his knees with his hand in a mail slot and gave him the filthiest of looks, he smiled back and she shook her head. Tony grimaced and then turned the handle; the door loosening and opening a crack. He pulled his arm out of the door and massaged his red palm as he kicked the door to widen it. He left it open slightly and ran in the direction of the leg, taking in the décor of the house as he explored; the majority of the walls a light pink or an off white, a sort-of coldness radiating about the place, though that may have been due to the majority of the windows being open.

There was a sound in the living room, one of a record. The side had finished when Tony entered the room and when noticing that it was a Jefferson Airplane album, he carefully lifted to needle and turned off the player to protect one of Loki's most favoured records. He looked around the room and into an archway, seeing the long, black fabric covered leg lying in the kitchen.

Tony threw himself into the room and onto the cold, tiled floor; his brow furrowed as he turned Loki's pale head in his direction. The taller man's eye cracked open and he smiled faintly, eye closing again and Tony cursed, feeling a liquid seep into the knee of his trousers. He looked down and saw that the liquid was dark burgundy coloured blood, creating a puddle around Loki's right wrist. Tony gulped and turned over Loki's arm, four deep red lines running from the base of his hand to the crook of his elbow.

Tony's eyes widened and he grabbed the knife lying underneath Loki's hand, sliding it away from the both of them and untying his silk scarf from his neck, wrapping it around Loki's arm as tightly as he could, not caring in the slightest about the blood soaking into the expensive material. "Look, Loki; I'm gonna get you to my car and I'm gonna drive you to the hospital." He lifted Loki up and saw that the other wrist was dripping as well, "and you're gonna stop _bleeding _and then we'll sort this whole fucking mess out, okay?" Loki's head was drooping and his upper body weight lent forward onto Tony, who bit his lip and shuffled back, holding Loki's face in his hand. "Loki, Loki – wake the fuck up! If you don't wake up, I'll fucking… burn your record collection. And I'll piss on your scarf and cardigan collection. And then sell them to the homeless."

Loki's eyes fluttered momentarily, but kept shut, until Tony became frustrated and slapped him harder than he thought possible. "Stark? I thought you were in a meeting…" Loki's voice was dry and hoarse; he poked his tongue out to wet his lips and looked down to his left wrist as Tony wrapped it up in kitchen roll. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't fucking die, you dick." Tony spat out, "What the hell were you thinking? You've almost cut your fucking arms in half." Loki chuckled and his head lolled to the side, eyes drooping, "Stay awake or so god help me, I'll… I don't know, ruin your afterlife."

Tony hoisted the long-limbed man up and steadied the both of them on the kitchen counter, slowly walking them out of the house and into the car; Tony carefully helping Loki into the passenger seat and running towards Darcy as she took off her heels and sprinted in the way of the front door, "Darce! Get Happy to follow me; I'm driving him to the hospital."

She shook her head and sighed, "Why aren't you calling a goddamn ambulance, Tony? What's he done? Is he okay?" He lightly touched her lace covered shoulder and marched back over to his car, backing out of the driveway and knocking over a trashcan; driving full speed to the hospital whilst trying to keep Loki awake.

There was a steady beeping sound and a horrible taste in his mouth as Loki began to wake up. He felt his left index finger and upper lip twitch and then a rough hand grip onto him. He breathed in heavily through his nose and parted his lips just enough to let the air out; then he opened his eyes.

The bright light was almost blinding, leading him to blink multiple times before taking in his surroundings; there were flowers, cards and teddy bears piled up on the surfaces, a badly tuned-in radio in the corner playing Elton John and a head of long brown hair lying down on his bed. He reached out to touch the head and felt something pull at his arm; looking down he noticed it was a needle attached to a tube, sitting nicely under thick bandages. He made a noise of panic and with his right hand, went to unravel the white, scratchy material and pull out the needle; only to be stopped quickly by the man lying on his bed.

"If you do that, they'll shout at me."

"Anthony?"

"Well, of fucking course – I only gave a third of my body's fucking blood to you."

"Why are being so explicit?"

"I've missed you, that's why." With half his face squashed by the hard mattress he was lying on, Tony gave a big, crinkle-eyed smile, reaching out his arms to hold onto Loki's cold hand. "I was really fucking worried, Lokes. When we got here, they made us wait. Until I kicked up a fuss and pulled the 'do you know who the fuck I am' card."

"You paid for that privilege in blood, I assume." Loki smiled weakly and slid up in his bed. "I suppose I should thank you."

"You should. I saved your fucking life."

"Thank you, Tony." He turned his left hand to link fingers with Tony. The elder man sat up and bent forward, meeting Loki's dry mouth and pressing a desperate kiss to his cracked lips. Loki inhaled and looked up into Tony's deep chocolate eyes, asking a quiet, "Why?"

"I told you I missed you. Did you think I was lying?" Loki looked down and shook his head, laughing silently. "I don't know what I would have done if you'd have gone; thrown myself out of a window, most likely."

"You'd have to find a new actor for your new film."

"Oh, you're easily replaced in that aspect." They both sniggered and Loki held up his index and middle fingers in Tony's direction. "Oh, is that Brit sign language for fuck you?" Loki dropped his index finger and left just the middle finger up, to which Tony covered up with his palm, cradling the longer hand within his. "I'm moving you into my house."

Loki snatched his hand away, eyebrows knitting together, "Why? What if the press find out?"

Tony rolled his eyes and leant back in his chair, "I honestly couldn't give less of a fuck if the press found out. We're eccentric, bohemian ex-drug addicts with a penchant for the dramatic and strange; if anything this will be the most normal thing I've done for the past what, seven years?"

"You still haven't answered why though, Stark."

"Ooh, Stark; bit angry, are we?" Loki rolled his eyes and licked his lips, "Well, uh, Bruce said it'd be a good idea for somebody that you trust to take care of you. I thought I'd be a better choice than your parents."

Loki scowled, "And who said I trust you?"

"I saved your fucking life. You better trust me."

Loki's nostrils flared and he turned to where the radio was sounding, "Turn this music off, it's driving me up the _walls_!" Tony stood up, and as he did, the door opened. Tony's eyes widened to twice their original size and he mouthed a curse word.

Through the door came Jane, smiling brightly and carrying a clipboard; behind her, marched in a large, muscular blonde man, carrying a fluffy plush wolf and a red jacket. He turned to Loki and beamed, dropping both the toy and the jacket, spreading out his arms and saying, "Oh, by Odin, you look terrible, little brother!" Tony sighed, threw himself back into his chair and held the bridge of his nose, shaking his head as the blonde man wrapped his impossibly wide arms around the tense, bed-ridden, black haired man with a face of pure anger and irritation.


	8. VIII: I'm All Alone With My Heartache

**VIII: I'm All Alone With My Heartache And My Good Intentions**

Sitting poolside with a tall glass of peach iced tea and a scowl on her face, Frigga watched her daughter-in-law emerge from the blue water, her tan skin glisten as she threw her hair back and climb up the mosaic covered steps to take a seat in a sun lounger placed next to hers. She picked up a croissant, smothered it in apricot jam and grinned at Frigga as she filled the younger woman's glass with the cool tea. "How are you this morning, Sigyn?" Frigga smiled politely, placing the jug back on the small table to the left of her.

Sigyn sighed, rolled her eyes and licked her upper lip, "Better than I have been, I assure you." She took a bite of her pastry, watching Frigga nod appreciatively, "Thank you again for letting me stay here with you guys. The boys are getting more colour in their cheeks by the day."

"And they weren't previously?" Frigga's eyebrows knitted together and she sipped her tea through a clear straw. Sigyn laughed lightly and shook her head, swallowing her mouthful.

"Oh, of course they were; but it's just nicer here and you can really tell by how the children are reacting." Frigga hummed in approval and picked up the two papers sitting on her lap. "Oh, my newspapers! Was there anything in there of interest?"

"Nothing that particularly stands out as of import to me; but I'm not that current with my music, other than what Loki does, and your American celebrity gossip doesn't really concern me – unless Loki's involved." Frigga slid her large sunglasses down her nose and narrowed her eyes, "I'd take a quick glance of the main story in the National Enquirer, it may be something you'd find 'of interest'."

Sigyn caught the two papers thrown at her and frowned, placing the NME down on the side table and unfolding the other paper, taking a large intake of breath when she saw her and her husband's image crossed out with a harsh black 'x', next to the headline, '**THE BATTLE OF HEARTS, BRITAIN VS. THE US OF A (WHO GETS TO KEEP THE KIDS?)**'. Sigyn's jaw dropped a little and with her left hand, she rubbed at the corner of her mouth, she turned the page and was met with a picture of Tony Stark and Loki sitting in what looked like a hospital waiting room – her husband's body loose and unconscious against the elder man, who cradled his drooping head and looked as if he was trying his best not to cry. Sigyn swallowed to wet her suddenly dry throat and skimmed through the article. Frigga's nostrils flared as she watched Sigyn's reaction to the words and she pursed her lips. Sigyn turned around to face her mother-in-law and dark, mascara coloured tears ran down her face in wobbly lines. "I swear, I didn't know he'd take it so badly!"

Frigga gave her a stern look and crossed her arms, "Take what so badly? It can't be his drug problem that you left him for, he got rid of that in rehab. There must be another reason for Loki's wish to _end his life_, I wonder _who_ might have some insight into why he would want to do such a thing?" Sigyn sobbed and curled up on the sun lounger. "Tell me, Sigyn."

The young woman closed her eyes, swallowed and slid back up, lighting a cigarette. "He didn't love me anymore and I didn't know what to do; but I found all these beautiful love songs he'd written when he was away and none of them, _none of them_,were like the ones he used to write for me. They were all about this dark haired, creative, almond shape eyed boy who was as conflicted as him and I, just, I found out who it was – in a wild argument after we got home from one of Sif's parties. I was so mad; I knew I was losing him anyway when I sent him away, because he wasn't the same person, maybe I'd changed for the worse but…" She took a deep drag of her cigarette and sobbed the smoke out, "I just wanted to get back at him. I wanted him to hurt like I did, so I took the twins and I came to you, because I know that he hadn't called in weeks and you wouldn't know what had happened because…"

Frigga rolled her eyes as the younger woman broke down into heaving sobs, letting out a loud tut, "You think I didn't realise something strange was going on? You think I'm that moronic? My son calls me every Monday night without fail – the only times that he hasn't are when something has gone dreadfully wrong. And have you noticed the distinct lack of darling Thor this week? Perhaps it's because when you arrived with my grandchildren in tow, without their father, I sent Thor to America to track Loki down. You know what he found? He found his younger brother confined to a hospital bed, his lower arms bound in red stained bandages, with an awfully distressed man beside him, who had given my son, Thor's brother and _your husband _a measure of blood to ensure that his life continued.

"I do not care if you think this man has ruined your marriage; he has saved my boy, when you had almost killed him. For that you cannot be forgiven; I refuse. If you even think of demanding custody of my grandchildren or ever hurt any of my family again, my wrath will hit you like a hurricane and your life will be hell to live." Frigga leant back and licked her lips, "Do I make myself clear, Sigyn?"

The younger woman nodded weakly, dropped her reading material on the ground and ran into the house, tears streaming down her face. Frigga's eyes rolled again and she reached out to the side table, picking up her glass and sipping the tea through a straw, feeling rather triumphant.

* * *

The aftermath of the entrance of Thor was dramatic to say the least. Loki huffed, glared and as the larger man held him tight, pulled out the needle carefully secured in one of the green looking veins in the crook of his arm. He then bit down hard on Thor's shoulder (who recoiled, a confused look upon his face), swung his legs to the left of the bed and jumped to the floor, only to find that his knees had ceased to function correctly and he fell in the direction of the floor with a gasp.

Walking in with Darcy and with a smile as Loki fell to the floor, Bruce held a clip board and frowned when he noticed the curled up body at the side of the bed. "So, I have your discharge forms here, but should I give it a couple minutes or…?" Tony held his hand out for Loki who grasped it and got up, resting on Tony's knee. "If you just sign where I've starred, you can leave pretty much straight away. I've got to sign some more paperwork and I'll be over to Tony's house at about five o'clock, so, plenty of time for you to settle in, about four hours."

He passed Loki the clipboard and a selection of black clothes, bowed his head and left quickly. Jane cleared her throat and stepped forward, "I take it Tony's told you what's going to happen?" Loki pressed his lips together in a thin line and shook his head, "Right, so you're going to move into his house as it's a new area and you have no emotional ties to anything there, so nothing will hold you back on your road to recovery. Darcy will be there the whole time, not primarily Tony's personal assistant anymore; she'll also be acting as a kind-of nurse to you, just checking to see if you're okay. I'll come everyday for a session with you and Bruce will be over every other day to check on you physical health wise."

Darcy held her hand up and smiled at Loki, "It's also encouraged that we get you doing things that you enjoy, so we'll be making sure that you're happy and being productive, because let me speak as a fan – we miss you dude and you need to get back in the saddle." She put her hands on her hips, pouted and nodded slowly. Loki smirked and picked up the pen from the clipboard, drawing a spiral on the paper and looking to Darcy who had already begun to rummage through her bag for a spare pen.

She handed him a blue biro and he turned to Tony, speaking in the quietest of voices, "Will you drive fast? I must wash myself – I feel disgusting."

"Yeah, sure, of course." He replied, perching his chin on Loki's shoulder, kissing the edge of his jawbone and watching him sign his intricate signature. Loki's eyebrows were knitted together as he signed the form, looking extremely deep in thought. Thor cleared his throat, prompting Tony to look over and shoot him a dirty look. "If you don't like it, then leave."

Thor opened his mouth to speak, only for Jane to put her hand on his chest, "We're all comfortable with this here, no reason to get angry anybody – just remember to be careful guys, not everybody is as… liberal as… us." She said, eyes shifting in Thor's direction.

Tony leant back in his chair, steepling his hands together and cocking his head to the right. "So, we can leave as soon as this has been signed and acknowledged?" Loki passed the clipboard to Jane, who checked it over and signed something at the bottom of one of the pages.

"Hopefully." Darcy said, looking into a little mirror next to a print of a Turner painting and moving her contact lens left to right and back in her left eye. She turned and sat down on the cushioned window sill, "That is what Bruce said, right?" Jane nodded and walked out of the door, closing it behind her. "Good, because Tony, I know you like your assistants to look good out, but I need my glasses because nobody appreciates bloodshot eyes, right?"

* * *

Jarvis had placed seven plates of pasta around the table, when the five of them arrived. Pepper was already seated at the head of the table, signing letters and forms, her left hand knotted in her hair. Thor looked at Tony with a hopeful smile in regards to the food; Tony nodded and sighed, chuckling lowly when Thor dragged Jane towards the table. Soft dinner jazz was playing in the background and Tony led Loki to the balcony, pushing open the glass door and a warm sea breeze hitting their faces, blowing their hair back slightly.

Tony jumped up onto the concrete wall overlooking the sea and patted the sun warmed spot next to him. Loki climbed up and accepted the cigarette Tony was holding out to him, taking the lighter from his other hand and lighting both of the cigarettes. Tony took a drag and swung his legs around so he was facing out to the sea, he turned to look at Loki, who had his elbows on his thighs, "I know you don't want to be here and I'm sorry, I guess. I was just hoping that-"

"Hoping that what? I'd stop being a recluse and you know, face the public scrutiny and eventual _shame_ regarding our relationship?" He spoke in a clipped tone and flicked ash onto the ground, eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes."

"Well, not everyone's as brave as you, Stark. I agree I am in some aspects, but now everyone knows every miniscule detail about my personal life, I don't want this life any longer. I wanted everybody to hear my music and hear my opinion on life; but now I want my house by the sea. I want my records. I want my children. I want a life where I won't be criticised for what I do, and I seem to have taken the completely wrong path in going about doing that. I do what I want and normally I'm unfazed by what everybody says, but you saw the article – it was in _your_ car. They're on fucking _Sigyn_'s side because I was seen _bleeding_ to death whilst being held by _another man_ – I won't get my children because of this and that's all that matters to me, Anthony."

Loki breathed in the smoke and threw the butt into the sea, wiping his dripping eyes on his black jumper. Tony ran his tongue along his lip and grimaced slightly when a sob came from the other man. He swallowed deeply and threw his cigarette in after Loki's. "Okay, let's not be big and flamboyant about this then; I know some great people in law, Loki – they can get your children back from her. We get Váli and we get Narfi; after that, after everything's secure, then maybe, perhaps, we won't have to hide as much."

"I've ruined everything. I'm useless. I've made myself look irresponsible and pathetic – reliant on everybody but myself." Loki slid down from the wall and wiped his eyes again, "I'll just fuck everything up, Tony, I always do. I won't get my children, Sigyn will ruin everything for us and then I'll be best off dead anyway; why did you have to find me? It would have been easier if you'd have left me alone."

"You called Darcy, Loki – you obviously realised it was a fucking mistake!" Tony spun back around on the wall, eyes wide.

"My judgement wasn't too great at the time." Loki shouted back, hands balled into fists. "I gave this a lot of thought this afternoon, as you probably could tell. I don't want _anybody_ to expect _anything _from me anymore, I'll just disappoint them." He took a deep breath and turned around, "If you'll excuse me, Stark; I'll take my shower now."

Tony watched Loki storm into the house and slid down to the floor, head in his hands. "Fucking hell." He repeated that almost like a mantra, rubbing his eyes. Pepper walked out of the house, clearly her, judging by the determined click of her heels and crouched down next to Tony.

"Are you okay, Tony?" She placed her small hand on his shoulder; he sighed and nodded, taking her hand and standing up. He bent his head to the left and smiled at the sun glowing down on Pepper, making her look warm and majestic.

"You're golden, Pepper. You're my queen." He pecked her cheek and stroked his thumb over hers. She beamed at him and returned the kiss, leading them back into the house and sitting them down at the table, where everybody, despite having witnessed the incident with Loki, greeted them with a smile.


End file.
